…and it’s not what you think! No, I didn’t post an ad looking for an actual relationship. My post was in response to someone else’s post.
Sometimes, when I’m really bored, I check out the personals section of Craigslist just to see who is out there, what they’re like, and what they’re looking for. Usually I look at the men seeking women section, but if I’m feeling particularly curious, I’ll look at the women seeking men section, too.
This night, about a week ago, I was looking at the men seeking women section. As I was clicking on the various posts, I came to this one from a 24-year-old in Albany (click photo to enlarge):
Are you thinking what I’m thinking? When I read this post, I could not believe what I was seeing. An obviously overweight man asking for a “fit” and “hot ass” woman. I could not believe the confidence this guy is exuding asking for a woman who is “fit” and “hot ass” while he, if we’re being honest, is not.
I’m not just saying this because I’m a woman, but when I look at the women seeking men section, you see far less women asking for a “hot” guy who is “fit” than you do men. Perhaps it’s because we women are more realistic?
So I wrote back to this guy (sort of) and posted an ad in the women seeking men section. Here’s what it said:
I was furious with this guy. What nerve he had asking for something he couldn’t even offer! Meanwhile, he’s missing out on all sorts of women who may not be a size 2, but they are still “fit.” And even if they aren’t “fit,” you’re still missing out on a great woman. No one is perfect in this world, and to ask for it is to shortchange yourself. Honestly, not to be mean or anything, but what did this guy expect? That some super-model bikini-clad woman would message him confessing her deep love for his extra meat? I don’t think so. If we’re being realistic here, it’s not often that a super-model woman will go out of her way to look for a guy like him.
I wasn’t writing my post to subtly get guys to write me and start a relationship or anything like that. I just wanted a quick way to reach the guys looking at Craigslist personals. Unfortunately, that’s not how a lot of the guys who responded took it.
It must’ve been only an hour after I’d posted the ad when the responses started rolling in (not edited for spelling and grammar).
1. “I couldn’t agree more”
2. “Nice post Kudos to you”
3. “Maybe they want someone who isnt a fat turd so they can motivate them selves to be more healthy and fit and work towards a positive lifestyle? Idk thats kinda how i feel”
4. “Hey there im not fit and really don’t care if you are or not!!
Send me your photos and then lets hookup for what ever kind of fun you are into!!!”
5. “Plus when someone says “Please have a job and car” Yet they are jobless and can’t drive. What’s up with that?”
6. “You’re a bbw?”
7. “I noticed in the ads that women are the same way but are a little more honest about it. Quite a few women say they are BBW but will only accept a fit guy. What’s with that?
Personally, all I care about is that you like who you are, are generally happy with life, and have a positive attitude. Those three things will make anyone attractive. ;-)”
8. “It’s not “shallow.” It’s a preference. Just like 9 out of 10 fat chicks think they need 8″+ of cock.”
9. “I agree. I’m not perfect and am not looking for perfection either.”
10. “It’s akin to a woman demanding a man be financially secure while she isn’t…don’tcha think…?”
11. “You need a realman”
12. “You are absolutely right. I think Craigslist, maybe just the internet in general, make people think they are something they are not. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
13. “Well not all of the guys out there are that way. Some of us are looking for that they can get to know and that are fun, not just what they look like…”
14. “Agreed. 🙂 I’d upvote your post, if that were a thing.
Good luck to you!”
15. “why? are you unfit?”
16. “You make a great point. It’s good to have standards, but don’t be a shallow dick! Hi, I am Cory.”
17. “Lol….good post:-)….how r u this evening…wanna watch some football tonight?”
18. “I do think so a guy should love his girl for who she is not how tight her body is. “
Of course, my curiosity going one step further, I looked all these guys up on Facebook. One man who responded turned out to be a philosophy professor at Oregon State University, another man just sent a topless photo of his “fit” body, and the guy who made the “you need a real man” comment is a college student who didn’t look a day older than 16.
As of today, January 5, I have received a total of 27 responses. The nice thing about posting this ad was that the majority of men who responded agreed with me. At least the entire male population in this area and on Craigslist isn’t a total failure.
This whole experiment has made me wonder…. In relationships, is it fair to ask for what we aren’t willing to give ourselves? I would say no, but then I think, does it depend on what you’re asking for?
What do you think?