College / Relationships / The Other Woman

He’s Just Not That Into You: Fact or Myth?

I am so tired of dating guys who only care about themselves, or at least act that way. Since when is it common dating behavior to only talk about yourself and not ask the other person questions? Either you’re really self-absorbed or you’re only in it for the sex. But even if you’re in it for just the sex, why waste your time getting to know the person? There’s a whole section on Craigslist dedicated to NSA relationships. Get on it.

Now that I’m finally getting somewhere with Married Dude, I’m noticing things. He never asks me about me. I feel like I’m always asking him stuff about the Army and what he’s doing, etc., but he neverrr returns the question. He never just messages me to say, “Hey, how are you?” or texts me to say, “I just wanted you to know I’m thinking about you.” He knows I’m taking classes, he knows I have an internship, he knows I write for different publications… but he never asks which classes I’m taking, what I do at my internship, or what I’m writing about next. Does this really mean he doesn’t care or should I excuse this behavior for him being overseas and having a lot on his mind? Am I asking too much of him? Where is the line drawn when you’re “in a relationship” with someone overseas?

I thought that once the divorce was underway, which it is apparently, that he’d be more open and in to me. I guess I expected that when he was still with Her – that he wouldn’t ask me about my life – but now that he’s free, he still doesn’t.

Justin Long gives Ginnifer Goodwin the facts.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: this is when the movie He’s Just Not That Into You becomes relatable. “If a guy treats you like he doesn’t give a shit, he genuinely doesn’t give a shit.” Why does that have to be true? Aren’t there exceptions?

I’m terrified that now that I have the opportunity to have what I want – a relationship with the guy I love – it’s not going to be how I thought it would be. I’m worried that I’ve romanticized this whole thing with him; that I was in love with an idea. Am I just really, really infatuated? Should I give it more time?

This past weekend I told my mom about how I was feeling. I said, “it’s like he doesn’t care because he never asks me questions about my life.” I looked at her and she filled in the blank (a.k.a. the awful truth?): “…because he doesn’t care.” We both laughed but it hurts to hear that. Why is it that everyone can see what seems to be in-my-face-apparent, but I still have hope that things will change? I hate having a good heart sometimes; I hate that I always feel compelled to give someone chance after chance after chance. I hate that I make excuses for people’s behavior instead of just seeing it for what it is. A person’s behavior will tell you everything you need to know, right? See, I know that, but it doesn’t stick in my head. It’s like my brain takes in what it can handle/accept, but rejects the rest.


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