I’m dealing with a major heartbreak right now. I’ve been “the other woman” for a little over a year now, although part of me has no idea how I could call myself that when we haven’t done anything physical. It’s been a constant period of one month of us talking and then one or two months (usually two) of us not talking. Each time he stops talking to me, I have no idea when or even if I’ll hear from him again and that wondering does awful things to me. I find myself not able to accomplish anything, which, in turn, makes me feel powerless and helpless.
It sucks mostly because I never pictured myself as this girl. Truthfully, I never really had a “strong female role model” to look up to, so what I learned about a girl remaining strong when relationships aren’t going as planned was from movies and books, and from my now mentor, Lori, whom I met through Big Brothers Big Sisters when I was just 14. She’s watched me go through this “thing” ever since it started. She’s always passing out those “you’re better than that” and “you deserve a guy who will bring you flowers” comments. I know she means well, but most of the time it makes me feel worse because I don’t have a guy like that. At least not yet.
Last night I pored myself over Tumblr’s and tweets of inspiring quotes, hoping one quote would kick me into a “you have got to get over him” drive, but I only ended up more confused. Part of me wants to find a guy I can just use for “a good screw,” as my grandmother put it, but part of me wants (and needs?) to do this on my own; prove to myself that I can and that I am stronger than I feel. It’s kinda like dieting. You want the chocolate cake just to make the craving go away… but you know that once you have the chocolate cake, you’re only going to feel better for a couple of minutes. Temporary satisfaction is not the fix to a situation like this.
So, my readers, if you’re dealing with heartbreak.. how do you deal with it? Any secrets for your fellow girl?